I know, I know. Some of you love summer. You have your bikini body on point. Your toes are polished a juicy hot pink. Your tan is on fleek (are we still saying on fleek?). You want your toes in the water and your ass in the sand. You love the ocean. You love the sun. You love laying out. You love driving with the music up and the windows down. I get it. You’re a summer girl. Or boy. I don’t know the basic rules for seasons when it comes to the fellas, so hopefully you can relate to what I have already listed here. But you see, here’s the thing. I don’t love summer. I actually hate it. And here’s why.
Summer brings about one thing that I like. Longer sunlight times. I’m totally down for that. Otherwise? I can’t stand it. I hate the heat. high temps just aren’t my happy place. I get sweaty, and bitchy, and tired. Here in Ohio we have humidity. So when it’s 90 and humid, I can barely breathe and I feel like I’m going to pass out at any moment. I’m uncomfortable – and I detest being hot. The second reason? Mosquitoes. Oh my God, the mosquitoes. They are relentless! So my options are to either be eaten alive (by the way, I’m allergic to their saliva, so when they bit me I get huge, itchy, almost painful welts), or coat myself in disgusting, smelly, oily repellents. No thank you. In addition, all of the other bugs are also out and about. And in my house. And on me. And flying in my face.
So yes. I’m ready for fall. Now, I do have all of my basic bitch reasons for loving fall. The sweater weather. Needing a light blanket when I’m reading. Hot drinks like cocoa, apple cider and chai. I love pumpkins and carving them. I love the changing leaves. I love the crisp smell in the air. Also, the plummeting of temperatures, the lack of humidity, the lack of mosquitoes and all other flying insects. I love the cool breezes and the need to wear one of my cozy scarfs, wraps or ponchos. I love my fall decor. Glass pumpkins, wreaths, dead stalks of corn (why do we like that so much?). I love the apple picking, the pumpkin picking, the pumpkin spice everything. And most of all…I love that Halloween is just around the corner.
For me, Halloween is a month-long affair. I almost love it as much as I love Christmas. Almost. Once October hits, our decorations go up. It’s horror, horror everywhere. I make my kids watch Halloween movies incessantly. I watch horror movies incessantly. We get our costumes and go trick or treating. We do Boo at the Zoo. We go to the pumpkin farm. We go to fall festivals. It is my happy time.
So enjoy these next few weeks of summer, darlings. I understand your love for it. It’s just not my thing. I’ll just be sitting in my air conditioning, awaiting the coming of the next season. And you better believe that come September 1st, I’ll be busting out my fall decor. Hey man, if June 1st is the start of your summer, then September 1st can be the start of my fall. I’ll see you back here for a rundown of our fall adventures!